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 You raised your children to be polite, thoughtful, generous and kind. Then why are they acting like inconsiderate brats? Are you looking for guidelines to get your child back on track?
Children need to develop three virtues upon which all others are founded: empathy, conscience, and self-control. Do you need help installing these qualities in your child? Would you like concrete steps you can take to teach kindness and respect?
Indoindians.com is pleased to introduce Sony Vasandani our "Ask the Expert". Sony will be offering tips on education and to raise kids with solid character, strong minds, and caring hearts. Her simple, practical and proven strategies to help kids know how to do the right thing, even when they are alone. Her experience and training with early childhood education and as a parent to grown up children, will be your guide.
We'll post links to questions and answers on this page so you can see what she's been asked already. We can't guarantee that she'll answer your particular question, however, she'll do her best! Please see our disclaimer below.
More information on our education and parenting expert:
 Sony Vasandani is a early childhood educational consultant, Montessori teacher trainer and mentor with a good understanding of the various preschool teaching methods & curriculum followed in different countries.
She has since 1992, set up various preschools in Indonesia and New Zealand, using various methodologies involving best practices. She established a teacher's training centre in 2005 offering Certificate, Diploma, Leadership and Specialist Early Childhood Education programs in Jakarta in association with First learning and Training Center, Singapore. In 2007, she started coordinating and conducting a course in the 'Diploma in Montessori Method of Education' from Modern Montessori International (MMI) UK.
We invite you to visit Sony's preschool website (www.mmi-indonesia.com or www.sunshine.or.id). We're excited to have her on board! |
Send an e-mail to our expert!
This Week's Question!
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"How do I discipline my child? " (25/08/2008)
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"How do I discipline my child? "
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This is one of the most frequently asked question. People often equate discipline with punishment as opposed to looking at it positively. To discipline is nothing but to teach.
Teaching / disciplining can be done in a few easy steps. When a child does not behave in the way you want him/her to, it simply means that he/she is ready to learn.
*The first way to discipline or to teach your child is to role model. Children are excellent in imitating. They will copy manner, tone, language and actions. Setting a good example by caretakers and parents is critical.
*Always remember that children need boundaries. They need to know what is expected of them. However, while communication this with them, it is best to use a positive approach. For example, instead of saying "Don't play with the ball in the house", you can say "You can play with the ball outside." Speak with kindness and respect. If an act is repeated, keep reminding gently."
*Give children a choice and let them have the opportunity to make decisions. Parent may state a rule followed by a choice. For example: "It's bedtime. Would you like me to tell you a story?"
*Allow children to learn from consequences. For example, if they leave their toys outdoors after playing, if the toys get wet from the rain or even get lost, children will learn from it and they learn to be responsible for their belongings.
* Finally, when your child does something good, tell him/her that you liked what he/she did. We always catch children when they do something wrong but never notice when they do something nice. Complementing encourages them to repeat those actions, not because the child enjoyed doing it, but because you have acknowledged and respected them.
25/08/2008 |
Most problems with children are simple to solve. Installing the right virtues in the right way always works wonders on your child and his/her relationship with you.
29/07/2008 |
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"A My seven year old cries aloud, with tears and for a very long time if I say 'no' to her for anything. How do I handle such behaviour? " (6/08/2008)
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"A My seven year old cries aloud, with tears and for a very long time if I say 'no' to her for anything. How do I handle such behaviour? "
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Instead of saying 'no', try giving her a choice or choices of anything that may be more interesting to her than what she is asking for. For example: if she wants an ice cream and you don't want her to have it for some reason, instead of saying 'no' ask her if she would prefer to play a game with you or go to a friend's house the following day instead. Once she makes her choice, make sure that you fulfill it. If she still insists on the ice cream and starts her crying, let her cry for a while, speak gently to her explain to her why she cannot have it. When she stops, praise her for stopping. The last thing you should do is pay her any attention when she is crying. If crying enables her to get what she wants, she will try it at all times and for anything. Be sure to shower her with praise if she takes your other options/choices that you gave and tell her how happy you feel that she is not crying.
What to do next:
Your child could be seeking your attention. Make sure you spend some quality time with her and make her feel secured of your love for her. Once she feels secure, the crying will stop and she will be willing to listen to and reason with you.
06/08/2008 |
Most problems with children are simple to solve. Installing the right virtues in the right way always works wonders on your child and his/her relationship with you.
29/07/2008 |
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"What is it that frustrates you about your child related to their development, their learning or their upbringing? " (29/07/2008)
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"What is it that frustrates you about your child related to their development, their learning or their upbringing? "
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Most problems with children are simple to solve. Installing the right virtues in the right way always works wonders on your child and his/her relationship with you.
29/07/2008 |
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"My two and a half year old cannot speak. He is able to say just a couple of words. Is that normal? How do I encourage him to start speaking?" (29/07/2008)
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"My two and a half year old cannot speak. He is able to say just a couple of words. Is that normal? How do I encourage him to start speaking?"
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Answer:
Two year olds can vary enormously in their language development...
Some are natural and are talking extensively by that age and some may be just speaking a couple of words. This is due to many factors that influence them like temperament, personality and opportunities available to help increase their language development.
You will need to rule out any hearing problems if you are worried about his language development as hearing problems impair speech.
Two year olds understand everything you say to them!
If your two and a half year old is not speaking more than just a couple of words it is due to the lack of opportunities available to help language development. Parents and caretakers understand non-verbal communication, gestures and intonation of their two year olds. As a result, they tend to use this more than verbal communication thus limiting his opportunities to develop language.
If your child points at a drink, ask him 'do you want a drink?' (as opposed to just giving him the drink) and wait to receive a nod or any kind of reply. And when he starts using one word, for example – 'mommy' and points to you, reiterate word in a sentence such as 'Do you want mommy to play with you?'
Parents and caretakers, familiar with the child's efforts to communicate can help him learn by listening, replying and most often reiterating the question to indicate that his effort to communicate has been understood. This is most effective.
What you can do next:
At the age of two and a half, sending your child to a preschool is ideal. Preschools offer vast opportunities for children to use verbal language to communicate. In addition, children learn best from other children. Over the years, I have had many two and a half year olds who start speaking in sentences within a couple of weeks in the preschool
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