Bad things are bound to happen and break oneβs will. Whether it may be a bad breakup, being rejected for a date or being denied a promotion that you have been waiting for. At these times, you are bound to become your biggest critic.
βWhat did I do wrong?β
βWhy did I do that?β
βI shouldβve β¦.β
Itβs perfectly normal that these thoughts pop up when you are staring rejection in the face. However, know that these self-criticizing thoughts only bruise your mental health and make you doubt and dislike yourself even more. When the next opportunity comes along, your frame of mind will be too battered to take full advantage of it. Increase your self-love and self-esteem by using self-validating techniques.
Here are ways to self-validate and love yourself:
Know your strengths
When on the bouts of self-doubt, you need to remember that that is not ALL that you are. You are a human being with your own weaknesses and strengths as well. If you are unsure of what you are or what your skills are at the moment, take time to find out. Challenge yourself to things that are outside of your comfort zone to know your limits.
After knowing what your strengths are, use it. When you use your strengths, you boost your self-esteem and reduce stress. As a result, not only will it help you guide your career into the direction that suits you, it can help you embrace the real you that is invaluable which no one can put a price-tag on.
Perform good self-care
You may think, what is the relation of self-care to self-love and self-esteem? But self-care is one way of stating that you deserve to be taken care of, and taking that into action. It is a confirmation statement that you are a worthwhile human being who loves themselves. There are many ways of performing self-care depending on what works for you from taking the traditional bathtub with a bath bomb or cooking yourself a nice meal. After a hard day, taking care of yourself will feel like a bliss.
Increase your self-awareness
Self-awareness is also one of the things that you can do to increase your self-love and self-validation. As much as being positive and kind to yourself is good, self-awareness is even better. This is because when you are more aware of whatβs going on for you, you will be able to provide sincere validation for yourself rather than false positivity. Being aware means you can be honest with yourself about your shortcomings as well as your successes. Throughout the journey, you will be more aware what you had done. Then, you can pat yourself on the back, knowing youβre doing okay and you can say it with absolute truthfulness.
Speak to yourself kindly
This may be the toughest thing you have to do, as itβs easier said than done. One of the biggest and most common reason why people lack self-esteem and self-love is because they have an inner critic that would constantly criticize everything they do. But itβs not impossible! Start with small mantras that are truthful to feel better about yourself. Some mantras you can use are βyouβre good enough as you areβ or βdarling, youβre doing the best you can.β Not only will these provide validation to yourself, it will also change your mindset to a more positive one. Step by step, the inner critic in you will be exchanged with the voice of love, compassion and kindness.
Celebrate your victories
Your victories are always in need of a celebration no matter how small it may be. You should be feeling ecstatic and proud of yourself-believe that you are awesome and deserving of your own celebration. Doing this will help you build up self-esteem and believe that youβre the capable human that you are. Celebrate it with all your heart by getting yourself a small gift, play your favorite song, or go out to eat with a friend.
Read inspirational things
There are many ways to boost your mood when you are feeling down. One of the easiest way is to read things that are inspirational. It can be as simple as a quote on Instagram or an inspirational book from your favorite authors. Whatever it might be, make sure itβs something that touches you deep down and hits you personally. Itβs one way to validate yourself with the help of someone else.
Do you have any other techniques to receive love and validation to yourself? Tell us your tips in the comments section below!
